It's the NEED...

I get it ... Sort of... When a woman (or man for the matter) says they don't love you anymore, it seems to me that they mean that they don't need you anymore... Vice versa... If they say they never needed you, that seems to mean that they never loved you... Still working on the concept, but it took a long time of pain, heartache, blah, blah blah to even get to this point. But I'll try to go from the first idea... No longer love/no longer need...

Being a man, I will speak from a mans point of view... So if a woman tells me she no longer loves me, that means in a way that I have outlasted my usefulness... I am no longer an asset and in some cases can become a liability. For a brief moment in time, I might even want to consider a marriage as a goods/services relationship... My date of expiration has passed.. I'm spoiled; tainted. So many ways I can see this... But it really comes down to one idea... As a person, object of affection, partner, husband... I am no longer needed. I've been used up and there is no more that can be resourced. So I'm out.

How does that make me feel... Unloved... Never loved to be more exact. How could there have been love if the only reason I was around was for usefulness... Like a tool, or that good hair dryer that she takes on every vaca... Or maybe that dude you got to get your situation corrected (whatever that situation is; I know mine). Whatever it was, it wasn't love. So that makes me feel awful.

Why it is my fault...
It is my fault in the idea that I let it happened. I settled for a second rate kind of love. I wasn't fooled into a relationship. I knew exactly what it entailed. I knew what she needed. I settled because I was willing to give her what she needed hoping that I would get what I needed in return. Two way street there people... I see clear that I was in the wrong because I was expecting her to love me the way I needed and wanted, but never understood how I wanted and needed to be loved. I settled for a second rate love that never materialized... The sex was good, but that's not love. I learned a lot about handling a relationship and handling a house and raising children and ... A lot... But all that, does not equate love. Love is given and not asked for. I put myself in a loveless situation. I put myself in a useful situation. In the end it's on me that my usefulness has run its course because love is the only lasting factor... And in this relationship, love was neither needed or useful.

Learning from my mistakes...
Hoping to have the opportunity to love and be loved again... The right way...