47400

The children are the primary reason I go in everyday.... It's why I had 6 different jobs at one point . I wanted them to be afforded the best things... At least as far as I could handle and still put food on my table... Most people don't know this, but it was I who actually took her to court in PA to have the state regulate what I was giving her for child support. I was in college working odd and end jobs, so I thought to be the wisest thing to do. That's how the state got my info. That's how when I moved back to NY they found me easy. That's when I got a job and this one got on welfare, they decided to lube me up well.... Back then I was making a starting salary (low 20's)... The money that I paid made it hard for me to live... But I was in PA much more because in this formative years, I figured my son (sons in a lil bit) would need there father more. She wasnt satisfied with that. In fact, I couldn't stand it either... Too much negative energy (and I'm not even going to mention her family smh)... So what I was giving could never ... Would never be enough, and u know what... I ate that... As long as my kids get what they needed.... I'm good.
Moneys is tight. Life is tight. I'm still balling because that's what I do. I go jobs to cover my lifestyle, even though with working so much I hardly have time for myself... I actually get married to someone I worked with .... Mistake on so many levels but key to this diatribe... It more than likely pushed this one in PA over the edge and she wants more... The courts give it too her. By this time the money is coming directly from my check... So the 6 and change they pull out biweekly hurts. I work harder. I take grief from my wife. I work harder. I have another son, my older children think I don't love them anymore... I work harder ( so I can see them more ). From 2008 to now, I've been grinding out... $47,400 dollars in support later... The mother is fed up with my boys. She doesn't want to be the main parent anymore... She sends them to me... I love taking my boys to school in the morning. I love helping them with their homework when we get home. I love hanging out with them and their younger brother because I wa searching so long for a family of my own... I created one in the meantime.... The number is actually minuscule when broken up over the 5 years... But this tells me... I've been doing what I need to, dispute this one and that one telling me I could do more... I've done more than any other "nigga" would have if placed in my situation with them.... So you know what... Take it in the face... Daddy's home !

Reconciliation

My parents were never divorced... At times, it would seem like it was inevitable, but that was the past. My present and future has nothing to do with this... Or does it? Looking at my wife, and the changes she has made (supposedly made) in her life... Looking at where we were and where we are now... Thinking about love, commitment and all that jazz... I can't help but think about reconciliation. But, like most things in my current life, that's all it is ... A thought... Upon deeper reflection, I understand that that was what it was for the moment and that's all it could be. I do not wish to relive or retry what could have been, because from the jump, it wasn't. Can't fix that. I can't turn a blind eye to what I've been through because when everything comes out in the wash, I can't say I'm a better person because of it. I can't say I've learned life lessons from our encounter. I can't say that I've lost my greatest love... I can't. That's the bottom line. I just can't.
But in the same breath... How do I move on. We have a life long connection in our son. We have to speak. We have to come together for him... Don't get me wrong... A child is not the reason anyone should stay in a relationship.... Resent would follow the child in some form or another... But how do I move past this state of being. How do we as men, enter into another relationship without baggage. How do men say, I'm done with the past.

Now I'm just rambling...

My parents never divorced, and sometimes I'm happy about that... Other times it bothers me... Most times I could care less... Maybe it's as simple as that... Reconciliation... Care less.

Parent / Teachers night...

Wow... I don't remember them from my day, but here I am... My second son has been in this school only a month and I have to go get his report card.

I wonder if the report cards will be on that white card stock paper ... Or will it be on a tri-copy... I really don't even remember what mines looked like. I do know that for the most part... They were all "B" grades. I never got many "a"" But what would u expect from an underachieving nerd in a jocks body... Maybe I'm getting too into tonight

People Friendly

Nah... I just know what it is to stand on line at the DMV. So.... With that being said.... Take it in the Face!!!!

How salty would dudes be if....

Nicki Minaj was really a man.... ill

Unemployment

How is a large portion of this city unemployed. Like the crime wasnt enough...

From my Perspective... yeah... coffee and fags are needed in the biggest ways!

I meant to say fags as to mean cigarettes ...

Don't judge me :) I lil' Coltrane wouldn't hurt either...