To Whom it May Concern

Feeling a love movement unearthed
tapped into that vein
drew deep till it hurt
kiss my boo-boo, mommy
Your touch; the only one that works
embellished with sinful practition
your tongue is what I’ve been missing
courted the languages of others
But your wisdom is my deliverance, enabler
and hindrance
crescent moon semblance
Of a love greater than my existence
I pray, “God, help me remember this”
I cry because the Lord has hidden my empress
amidst golden blazed harlots and
big bodied invalids
their illness being greed
not knowing what they have but
wanting more than
what they need
I continue on my ښ(Deen)
Glory be to the unseen
unheard travels through my mind
Stone of the Wadi
my movement mends her ravines
mediate the seam between reality and
make-believe
Makes me believe this was destined and that her love
was truly meant for me
Sean Bell and Nicky;
The Nazareth and Magdalene
The energy that you’re sending me
compares to these unions
But I still can’t see
The Rose
amidst the weeds
I still can’t see your smile
against the fiends
Heathens parade you like
Hottentot Video Vixen Queen
but your mind is enslaved
and you don’t know what this means
Your heart is encased and
the blood that flows is anemic
Still thick in the waist but
lean in birthing hips
too many quips made to sting like master’s whips
Nigga.... Bitch
childbearing no longer sacred
because of the surplus existence of
baby fathers and mothers flipped the idea of marriage
and commitment
But I am still committed to you
in this world of ironic imagery,
you are the heroin to my sensory
the green to my emotional stability
You can be that feeling of love movements
unearthed
tapping into that vein
drawing out birth weight till it hurts
You can be that feeling of self worth
preserving the best in life
without selling your self short of
body parts and perks
You can be that empress to my empire
that healer
that mother
Can you feel her within ?
Can you smell her;
reminds you of kin...
Can you see her in the distance
She is simply a reflection of you...
She is you
Simply Beautiful...

Child Support

Not for nothing... when it comes to my kids... I would do anything for them. To the point that I am ready to just give up my whole self to make sure they have... And I have...

The other day, when I got a check for a job I did on 42nd a few weeks back... I noticed that out of the blue, Support Collection Unit taxed that. $150, gone... before I could even count it. Some might think... 'well, that's what they are supposed to do....' AND 'they are supposed to take funds from your check to send to the children that you helped create,' AND 'especially for those "dead beat dads" who don't know how to contribute financially, physically, or emotionally to their children.' I get that... I do understand... but, guess what? I'm no "dead beat."

I started a child support case in Philadelphia with my first one (granted, I started it for the wrong reasons, but I was responsible enough to know that what me and my son's mother was about to get into wasn't going to benifit the kid at all). I came back to NY, and got hit with a Support Order I couldn't afford, but it got paid. $7,000 in retroactive support (because their mother states I never did shit) paid. I didn't contest it, because I knew the kids would benifit from it somehow. After I got that $7,ooo paid up, a year later... she takes me back to court for an increase... They give it to her, and I'm back in the hole for another $10,000 retroactive. But it doesn't matter... that was in 2007. Look at me know... I wittled that down to $1000 by paying 6 and change every two weeks (400 and change for the bi-weekly Order of Support, and the rest to going towards the retroactive support the courts said I owed... again... the mother never steps up and says that I am doing my damn thing for the kids... I'm not mad at her though, and I would never again be).

But its when the Mother-Bleeping Support Collection Unit takes it upon themselves to say, 'oh, this guy could pay more,' is when I have issues. So, that $150 came out of a $250 check, that was to go towards my car insurance... now what? Lets put it in perspective... $250 would have covered my insurance, less $7... So now, I have to wait until regular payday to pay my insurance, with the remainder... I have other bills (I'm regular like everybody else), so those have to be paid... I have to contribute to my wife and my other son's household... so now... instead of having maybe $100 left to do what I do with my kids out in Pennsylvania (did I mention that the kids were not like right around the corner, and I have to actually go out of state to spend time with them... hmmm)... So, as I was saying, instead of having maybe $100 left to kick it with them... I'm stuck in a hole of -$50 because some BITCH at the SCU office (male or female) decided that since I worked one day... made $250 in one day... busted my ass for $250 in one day, that I need to take that extra money and give it to my kids, who were gonna benifit from me working that damn near 10 hour day regardless... but now... they won't benifit by seeing me (since I can't afford to put damn near $10 gas in my car), they won't benifit by spending time with dad (which should be one of the main goals of a child support system)... No they are benifited by their moms, instead of a $650 check this week, she's gonna get a $800 check, and me... I'm struggling for solutions.... I'm still going out there... stuggling with the idea of having no dough... What to do... beg, borrow, steal (in that order) to spend a few hours with my boys.... But what do I get when I get out there from their moms... "You need to get your money together, because the boys have extra-curricular activites that need funding" Blah Blah Blah.... (again... I'm not mad at her... I know who she is already, and I have learned to deal).

This is why 'men' who do for their children get so frustrated. This is why having a child wrapped up in a government system never works... This is why people need to be married before they have children.... This is why young mothers and fathers make no sense to me... This is why I wish I had more a voice in my government... This is why I want to change the world.... This is why I feel I can't save the world... This is why I can't... I just can't....

And with that, I am not giving up... I am not the one to blow a fuse anymore. I just keep moving and hope that the next job I happen upon, does not end up on a Support Collection Unit computer screen with someone itchy trigger finger pressed up against the execute... excuse me, the Enter button... ready to sign my life away into a binary code.

MisConceptions

Should I keep it under raps, or shall I do it again? Nocturnal Roots reppin for the city of sin. Ready to win by any means --Malcolm’s my kin. Focused on a stars gaze... Nah,I was just playin pretend. Catchin hell for choices misunderstood by men. Married a woman who was greedy for the life that I'm in. Couldn’t give her what she needed, so I’m out in the wind. Now I'm limelighting, so now she wants in again. Perpetrating frauds without cause; possibly to impress all them cats who said she would never be tamed by a man. I understood the life lessons...Held them in the palm of my hand, but since I'm on to the next, I’ll try to overstand them again.

This MC thing is just a means to an end. Gotta find the right medium for my words to extend. Blessed with the gift of gab stemming from the tip of my pen. This thing is deffing…MisConception

This MC thing is just a means to an end. Gotta find the right medium for words to extend. Blessed with the gift of gab stemming from the tip of my pen. This thing is deffing… MisConception

Can’t fade me... I’m un-fade-able. You hatin on me, now cause my dreams are attainable. Unlike me, you're replaceable; an abstract artist. Check the levels for madness control... Damn you tarnished. Trying to keep my faith on hold. Must have been God when he took me up out of your home; blessed me with the strength to withhold, and push on cold without any direction. Damn, look at me now... This must be heaven! Bet cha’ didn’t think I could come hard without any resentment... These are just stories I’m tellin. Still pressin MisConceptions

This MC thing is just a means to an end. Gotta find the right medium for these words to extend. Blessed with the gift of gab Stemming from the tip of my pen. This thing is deffing… MisConception

I really love this dude... not for anything that he has done for me personally...

He, on the surface, is just a really cool dude from his lifestyle, his career choices... his grey mustache, and salt and pepper hair... his vanity faire, his Vogue, his warstories to his pimpish ideologies (massive doubletalk), to his learning tree, countless movies, essays...

Gordan Parks... I admire the man you put out there. Ambitious, Courageous, Determined...

respect

Hiaku # 128 (4 josephine)

The quagmire of
you being a true being
seems to suit my mood.
Enjoy the conflict
your personality brings...
See the muse in you.

hiaku # 22

hate to see u go
but I love to watch u leave
your swag captures me
the swift movements of your hips

sinnerman

jealousy creeps and
rears its head
ever so often
I maintain composure
to the world
but behind closed doors
I get emo like some girl
similar to some hood rat chick
catch fits and feelings
and start reminiscing conquests
that would rival mary j
after coke binges
the fire within my belly singes
and sings like black tea kettle
I've reached my boiling point
but never burn out
on edge
but can't wild out
got kids that look to me ;
daddy
no matter what they momma say

and I can't remember the last time
al green played
and I I can't remember the last time
marvin gaye sang
and I can't remember the last time
I gave all of myself

so I'm stuck between love and
heartache
and those 808 heartbreak
african chants
chase me
call me sinnerman
blast chasers
when they know
i take this poetry straight

no chaser
straight
don't chase her
placed her high
and in turn
couldn't reach her if I tried
she was my wife before
the title actually existed
I was her King
queen thighs black, thick
pleasantly proportioned
she was my Africa experience
spread out across her valleys
nocturne night air
cooled her tempers
making her soul insistent
her soil fertile but her
womb resistant
to my lineage
so as we lay in
African Darkness
and sweat
supreme love is all that remained

A Love Supreme
I love supreme
Allah Supreme

brought me back to
a John Black
thirst quenching time
seemingly
I law within this
supreme dream
my innermost thoughts
conjured you...

my hebrew mistress
with a sweet scent of
molasses butta honey dew
and dare I utter the words
Love ... (the epitome of us two)
love was never meant for strangers
and stranger a pair I never knew
you and I co-existed as lovers
amidst a six year love affair
that had run its course
in four,
continues to parable my life
through un-parallel events
constant run-ins force me
to re-examine, retrace,
reface... you

You
stay a constant reminder o f
Love
and how it should feel
and what lovers should
reveal in pillow talk
and before I walked away
before I walked away
before I walked away
I saw me
outlined in chalk back within
the quarters of the negro

spiritually, I never knew you
but the attraction was thick
like sand paper across my lips
we fucked our summer
into a comma and dipset
to parties and communed
on the once was
continued in the red
caution
never mind the red
caution
felt the red heat of your skin
against mine
your heart beating faster each time
as your soul surrendered its passion
and in time
love became the unknown value
in the equation
caution
in the red
and we fed upon heartache for years
only to recover
with another
and Love returns
in tears

Real Hip Hop

post ur flicks
cause im down
4 the photo opp
make shure
its a 'G' to the Roots;
A 'G' to the Noc
Turn all heads
when im coming from the photo shop
red carpet style
other poets thought I would stop
but i keeps it moving
NOC on his way
to the top
knocking out cats
who might have thought
they could box
arms too short
minds can't step out the box
flow is mental, spit comes from
off the top
grab a mic
dolo
on point like cops
grimey on the street
41 shots on the block
lightin up stages in memory
Big / Pac
Reppin th 'X'
Home of that
TRUE HIP HOP

Missing You

tongue slick stretches
walls winding
past enticing interludes
momentum in moments of
painpleasurepainpleasure
stains sheets of illusion
lucid languid lips kiss
liquid seduction
lacing labia without
interruption
causing midriffs
to quake and shake in waking
moments of shifting clarity
9.0 reckless scale
towards insanity
pulling me closer
to breaking points
inside of me
like changing lanes in
the drop top as your
top drops
exposing your heart to me

Why you playing with me?

You don't know...
in the winter this
sinner goes nocturnal
intertwined betwixt
your thighs and hips
in vision the space within
capsuled and encased
this seed that begins
life ends only to extends
and bends your body
from inside out
and from outside in
your heart hardens
home heavy
head unsteady
not ready for blessing
turned burden come
February
then this kid who was
marching all over your womb
is now marking territory
in your room and
your space is no longer yours
your eyes no longer close
yoru mind feels constantly froze from
constant barrage of baby babel
and you and I battle
constantly
no more smacked sweet kisses
no mor bodies bumping
heart pumping beating
as one no more
jumping through hoops
bending over backwards
no more blowjobs
and the head you once had
is now transferred north
as baby no bottle trained
and the breast pump
from shower pulls
skin of sensitive nips so
instead you sneak miller nips
and quips of Dutch remnants

I lay on the couch sometimes
above my fortress of solitude
remembering

tongue slick stretching walls
winding enticing interludes
momentum in moments of
painpleasurepainpleasure
stains the illusion of what
once
was
no
w
everydayheartache
missyou

NYPD pt 2

So, white cop passes me off to Mr. 21 questions and the pale face. White cop proceeds to search my car. Pale face reminds me to keep my ass on the trunck (she said it nice, but I'm still kind of tight... I maintain). Entepro still quizing me on how does he get a job in courts and says I'm crazy for leaving family with all the overtime, and I tell him its not all about the money... I teach. He asks me where and I tell him. He looks surprised. He looks even more surprised after he asks me what I was about to do tonight, that I said I was on my way to a poetry spot. Like, in his eyes, I could see the 'wow, we pulled over a smart nigga' type look. I'm really pissed now, becuase I can't believe I'm entertaining this shit. White cop is threw in the car, tells me to go sit in the seat. I sit, and the chair is all off the fucking track, like this guy was really looking for some shit. I'm highly upset now. The enteprnegro then comes up to the window with a fucking goofy ass smile asking "you haven't ever been arrested, have you?" I shake my head no... he says "good" and walks back to the conference at my bumper. I look in the rear view, white cop is getting back in the unmarked and the entepronegro brings me back my ids. "Take it easy" he says. And politicions wonder why we don't get down with the nypd... but I thank God, because ... this could have went way left. pray for me that I keep right.

NYPD

So, I just got pulled over. Three cops. One short, white motherfucker, one entepro-negro brother (explain later) and one pale face chick (he could have been spanish, but does it really matter?). So, I've got the rainbow coalition of the force pulling me over in an un-marked... I stop. They get out and start to circle the car with their flashlights, palms on the butt of their glocks. White cop initiates the convo and asks me for my l & r. Asks me to turn off my car too. proceeds to tell me to turn off my radio. Gets an attitude because I had it on while he was giving me orders. Entepro-nigga comes around t the drivers side, sees the plaque, and asks for my job id. The three go to conference now at my bumper. White cop comes back and proceeds to tell me how my whip looks stolen. I tell him I brought it looking like this. He informs me my licence plate is hanging. I tell him I tried to fix it. He then points out the screwdriver. I tell him it keeps my window up. Entepro-nigga laughs. White cop leans in close, tells me, if u got anything in the car, that shouldn't be there, u should tell me now. I look at him like, u can't be serious. White cop opens my door, helps me out of the car, tells me to put my hands on top of the car and proceeds to frisk me. I'm a little perturbed now, being that I had all the documents for my car, I gave up two ids and they see my plaque... the White cop then asks me if I know that they were not going to give me a ticket "we don't do that". In other words, if I find anything out of the way wrong, we are going to lock u up tonight. I stop talking because he's getting a little rough with the search... like he's upset he's not finding anything. Now, entepro starts yapping... asking me about court officers and how much they get paid and what tests should he take if he wanted to do something like that and what's the difference between the court officers that stand outside and the ones on the mags and the ones in the courtroom. When white cop is finish searching me, (to be continued)