My parents were never divorced... At times, it would seem like it was inevitable, but that was the past. My present and future has nothing to do with this... Or does it? Looking at my wife, and the changes she has made (supposedly made) in her life... Looking at where we were and where we are now... Thinking about love, commitment and all that jazz... I can't help but think about reconciliation. But, like most things in my current life, that's all it is ... A thought... Upon deeper reflection, I understand that that was what it was for the moment and that's all it could be. I do not wish to relive or retry what could have been, because from the jump, it wasn't. Can't fix that. I can't turn a blind eye to what I've been through because when everything comes out in the wash, I can't say I'm a better person because of it. I can't say I've learned life lessons from our encounter. I can't say that I've lost my greatest love... I can't. That's the bottom line. I just can't.
But in the same breath... How do I move on. We have a life long connection in our son. We have to speak. We have to come together for him... Don't get me wrong... A child is not the reason anyone should stay in a relationship.... Resent would follow the child in some form or another... But how do I move past this state of being. How do we as men, enter into another relationship without baggage. How do men say, I'm done with the past.
Now I'm just rambling...
My parents never divorced, and sometimes I'm happy about that... Other times it bothers me... Most times I could care less... Maybe it's as simple as that... Reconciliation... Care less.
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Hmm...
ReplyDeleteYou can't say you lost your greatest love... that says a whole lot right there.
Reconciliation (according to dictionary.com) is:
1) An act of reconciling or the state of being reconciled*
2) The process of making consistent or compatible.
· let’s look at reconcile: which is to cause (a person) to accept or be resigned to something not desired/ to bring into agreement or harmony; make compatible or consistent. -à Really? Are you thinking about “being resigned” to the situation or shall you desire, want and actively strive for more?? That is (in my humble opinion) how you move past the past circumstance(s) you are currently in… kinda like driving on the FDR approaching a slow moving yellow cab- you know they are capable of doing all sorts of unruly things at any moment and you have 2 options—sit and wait for their unruliness to affect your current smooth driving OR do some kinda fast & furious new jersey drive move to get around and PAST them…leaving their unruly behind exactly that...in the past… Think about it ;)